A Loose Bridge.

I never really considered myself insecure until a friend of mine pointed out my insecurity. There isn't anything I think I'm good at, and I don't think there's anything that I like about my appearance. I think I suck at singing, I think I suck at bass, I think I suck at pretty much everything. Except for writing. Writing seems to be the one thing that I'm good at. But for everything I'm good at, there's ten people that are better than me at it. I am always disappointed in what I do. Music especially. I finish, then think, "Wow, that was awful."

I don't know where this insecurity comes from. I think it may come from myself thinking that no one supports me. No one says, that was good. Sure, my parents, and those people that are older than me think I'm good at it, or at least voice it. But I need support from my peers. I need to be told that it was good. By my peers.

I feel insecure because I feel no one values my opinion. Or me. I try to say something and it's waved off, or ignored completely. I can't talk about my favorite things, because I feel people think I'm an idiot.

Oh, I'm sorry I have different interests than you, and I would like to talk about them. You know, since I sit there and listen to you. Maybe you could do the same for me? No? Oh, that's ok. I guess I'll go sulk in a corner while you learn nothing about me. Even though I already know everything about you.

I can't talk about my most recent film endeavors without getting that look of stupidity. I can't talk about writing without people thinking that it's a waste of time. They can talk about their sports, and their crazy experiences, and everything they want to say about themselves. But I don't even get a minute to say anything about myself.

Alexander Gael