My Soul Turns Slowly into a Sphere of Blackness and Utter Chaos.

For those of you who don't know, ask questions. Else, how will you ever know?

I thank God for some of the people in my life. I had a friend of mine talk with me about my woman issues. (Thank you Patrick Russel Ray!)

Today I bought a pair of purple skinny jeans while at Hot Topic. It was rather whimsical. I had no intention of buying purple skinny jeans when I walked into the store, no intention of really buying anything in fact. But, they were on clearance, so I did! I like to think myself counter-cultural. However, I think I mainly do this for attention. Subconsciously, anyways. Consciously though, it's because that's who I am, and I refuse to let anybody else teel me who I am or what I should wear, or who I should be (aside from God, of course!)

For those of you who don't know, I used to be a huge Kingdom Hearts fanatic. I am a fan again. Watching a walkthrough of Birth By Sleep made me so. It was a very intriguing story. Very confusing, and therefore, great! In this game, the keyblade war is mentioned. In the spur of this moment, I decided I was going to write a fan-fic on this fabled event. From what I've seen nobody else has, which makes it that much more awesome! Right now, all I have is the prologue, which would be better described as a forward, but you know, it is what it is. I wrote the words "Chapter 1" and drew a blank. How do you start a book about a fictional war from games rated E10+? You don't. You spend hours trying to figure out what the first sentence will be, then write from there. I'm hoping that this story will be the one that's a turning point for me. My characters will come alive, have motives of their own, and do what they want to do. The story will twist and turn on it's own, but keeping the base point which has already been depicted in Kingdom Hearts. AND THEN I WILL MAKE IT INTO A MOVIE! Just kidding about the last part. I'm hoping to imagine it as a NaNoWriMo book. Not the time limit, but the word count. I will write 5Ø,ØØØ words. If the story ends before that, I will fill in the gaps in the heart of the story. make it alive, make people feel anger, hate, love, sympathy, sadness, loss. (Which, I guess means there will be death. The book will be rated "T" for "Totally Cool and Teen.")

That looks sufficient for a blog post about a fan-fic. I guess you'll be reading about Kingdom Hearts: The Keyblade Wars in future blog posts. But, just as with my last book, it will probably be diverted back into a personal blog. Especially if things happen in my life that I have some control over. I need to get some guts, and be a man. Soon.

A Wraith Amongst the Black

I haven't blogged in a while. Actually not since my last blog post. I don't remember when that was. I really have nothing to blog about today, and haven't for a while. I am saddened by this. Is my creativity fleeting away. No, it definitely isn't. I know this because I have the overwhelming urge to write something, anything. Darned facebook and weak will won't allow me to do this, however. I realize it is the month of November, and during this month NaNoWriMo is occurring. I also realize that I had a book I was writing. Guess what? I'm back to 9Ø words, after writing 36Ø, about. Somehow, I failed to save my words, and no longer have the will to re-write everything I had written and continue the project. I also still need to write my own book, Pity for a Coward. The one I started long ago.

I'm not sure I understand how it is people write living characters. I feel like I am a terrible writer because of this. Everything I write I plan. My characters never surprise me, anger me, or anything. They're just a bunch of words on a page. Nothing in my stories come alive to me. I know what's happening at all times, and I understand a particular character's motive for doing something. If the story doesn't come alive for me, why would it anyone else?

That wasn't a very productive blog post, but whatever.

I am iPod. I Reign Supreme.

     I feel with this age of technology, human interaction, human relationships, the personal things are becoming impersonal. Namely, I'm talking about Social Networks; facebook, myspace, etc. I feel with these tools people are talking less, instead they're typing, "u r dum." I both love these networks, and hate them. I have a terrible time walking with people in real life, extending my social circle. I dwindle in my cocoon of comfort. I hate them because, at least I obsess over it. I stay on for a few hours, and don't interact with anyone. I've talked about this before. I'm a two week break from facebook for two reasons. Number 1: my main reason for getting on in the first place is taking a break from facebook so she can write her book for NaNoWriMo (man, I sound obsessive!), this is also my second reason. I'm only 450 words in. NaNoWriMo ends in two weeks.


     Of course, social networking isn't the only problem. Phones are another. Teens text, parents text, parents make agonizingly long phone calls. I primarily noticed this when I lived in North Carolina. My mom would be on phone calls for work that would take hours! It made me sad. She barely had any time to do anything with us.


     I figured out whyle typing this entry, why women don't particularly like me. I'm not charismatic. But, mainly, it's because women don't want guys that are women, and afraid to takes risks. They want men who will look out for them, care about them, and protect them when the need may be.


Adieu.

Amongst the Crashing Waves (Beneath the Sea)

Thank God for love. It brings many wonderful things. I write some pretty cool lyrics when I think about that type of stuff. My best lyrics, actually. It also it what keeps humanity growing. It's what people feel toward each other, and brings us all together.

Why did God create love. It's annoying. It's painful. It's confusing. Love is a thing I struggle with. It beckons my name. I sprint toward only to be shoved to the floor. Blech.

I wrote an entire song because of this feeling of love; though, the song is very abstract. I was thinking about her while I wrote it. I doubt she was thinking about me.

I debate with myself, whether or not to do what my head tells me not. - One More Second

Bussing the Poor

I haven't blogged in a while. Sorry. I've been super busy with the musical. Seriously, it's ensued my life.

So, I decided that I would blog today. As I write this I am uploading a video to YouTube. The one that we made a month ago. Unlisted.

I like hiking. I like walking. I like running. I like movement. The problem is that where I live there isn't really much to walk around. Though, I have walked around for a while with a friend of mine for a while and just chatted.

I like the idea of going somewhere. Rather, I like the idea of going in a direction, with no plans on where the endpoint will be. Moving your feet along, one foot in front of the other (and soon you'll be walking 'cross the floo-oo-oor!) I don't know why it is I enjoy this. But I know it isn't nearly as fun walking alone as it is walking with someone, even if you don't interact much, if at all!

It could be due to the fact of my enjoyment of nature. I love taking in the beauty of nature. There is nothing I enjoy more than trekking through a heavily wooded area. Well, except for filming this event!

Walking, shuffling, shimming and shammying. Running, jogging.

These are a few of my favorite things! - The Sound of Music

Universal Theorems

I figured out tonight (or at least I think I did) what the reason is that I have these talents. These talents being writing, and my talent in filmmaking. Whilst watching a short film on YouTube, I saw a comment talking about Christianity (not bashing). The idea popped into my head, "Maybe God gave you these talents for the sake of creating credible Christian films." The particular ideas were the tribulation, and Armageddon.  Maybe God wants me to take these to a larger audience, reach the unreached. Or maybe it's me getting prideful. Either way, this is something that I want to do. 

I also heard some people tonight talking about the church as a whole, and its flaws. This inspired me to make a documentary on the matter. I believe it would be a good chance to show the Americanization of church, and demonstrate how to heal this wound.

What do you guys think? Have I gone off the deep-end? Lost my marbles? Gone mad?

God is from the Pits of Hell

Excuse the title, it'll make sense once you start reading. So do just that!

Did you know that today happens to be a Tuesday. Tuesday, November 2 to be exact. Is there any significance to this particular day in history? Nope, there's nothing special about it. Except, this day (and any other day for that matter) was specifically seen by God. Every second in this day was planned by the creator.

Yesterday (November 1st!) I read a blog post by a "Christian."  He was talking about "poking fun" at Christianity. It was directly relating to a design by a band called Impending Doom. It was a "repentagram." It is a pentagram with four extra points. I had read (somewhere) that the nine points were to be interpreted as the nine fruits of the spirit. (I won't say them, for the fact that I don't know them, and I won't pretend to be a perfect Christian.)

However, this guy (I won't mention his name, though you can read the whole thing for yourself here) was saying how it was evil because the pentagram was a Satanic symbol.

For the fact that I don't know exactly what he said (and I'm terrible at quoting) I will go on to the next point that really irked me. He went on to claim how God absolutely despised metal, because "it is from the pits of Hell." Whenever anyone else tried to say otherwise, he arrogantly  went back to this, as if he himself were God.

Someone tried saying that it wasn't about the fashion in which they were worshiping, but that it was the fact that they were worshiping. How church music wasn't the only form of worship. Because, of course, it's about the heart, not the way in which you display it. The music is about the lyrics, not the way in which one goes about saying them! But, of course, he was completely arrogant and refused to listen to the voice of reason.

What do you guys have to say about the matter? Not just in metal music, but alternative forms of worship in general?